This blogpost was inspired by my experience of being in the same room as Pierce Brosnan at the Ai Weiwei exhibition in London… I stood there startled, open-mouthed and averting his possible (though not likely:)) gaze. I noticed a lot going on in my mind: a cascade of possibilities and questions.
“Should I smile, say hello?
Oh my fraggle-hair needs attention. Look at the shaggy jumper I am wearing…
Oh my, he is a handsome silver fox… Is he trying to blend in, or is he happy to have attention? He seems to be unoticed by the attendees. Does he care about that?
Wow, he is taller than I thought..His clothes look expensive….
Oh, silly, he won’t care how I look anyway…but I care….
Will he feel annoyed if I ask for a photograph…oh I cannot even look him in the eye…
just a Hi…just a smile…but what would he think? What could I say? ”
and it went on…
This all unfolded within seconds. I was frozen like a bunny in headlights simply staring at him from a safe distance as he disappeared from view.
Now, perhaps I am shy or overly anxious. Perhaps I just allow the onslaught of self criticism to permeate my brain as I rehearse a much better response (hours after the event).
I recall being the same when I attempted to chat to Brené Brown at a book signing event.
I become totally overwhelmed!
But, in the last few years and particularly this year, I realise I am sensitive. I am not abnormal. I, most likely, have the normal trait that is in 15-20% of the population (equal in male and females).
I have read the work of Elaine Aron (a research psychologist) and particularly enjoyed her book The Highly Sensitive Person and the recent film she was involved with. The film is called SensItive which features Elaine Aron and Alanis Morissette.
I have always felt different and my life has often been confusing.
This sensitive innate temperament is seen in humans and also many other species and has been discovered, through research, to be an important survival advantage. A small proportion of a group/tribe needs to be able to pay more attention and process the environment more strongly. Diversity is important and there is room for us all. We all have strengths and limitations of varying degrees.
We tend to have a deeper processing and are susceptible to overstimulation. We have strong emotions and empathy and sensitive to the subtleties in our environment. We can be extremely creative and feel joy and love more intensely. We often have excellent intuition. We are moved deeply by nature. We can feel hurt more profoundly, cry more easily, be more sensitive to criticism and prone to overwhelm.
I do extremely well in supportive and authentic environments, otherwise I suffer deeply and my health deteriorates. Fortunately, I am now in the most supportive and loving partnership so I no longer struggle in my most intimate relationships. But, my fledgling business became a place of suffering (like in my previous career as a physiotherapist). I loaded my business with unsupportive activities and practices. I did not feel ease with the way I worked with some of my clients.
This year, I have unpicked these problems and pitfalls and my business is remoulding to help me thrive and flourish.
I have found my supportive tribes and recognising the nourishing people and opportunities for my business. Where consciously possible, I no longer allow myself to be affected and drained by certain people and situations. I am learning the benefit of the ‘Big Pause’ before responding (thank you Victoria from Mojolabs for this). I don’t want to slide down a slippery slope of blame and self-criticism. Can you relate?
So what’s my thoughts about Pierce Brosnan ?
Within those few seconds, I was processing my own thoughts and also picking up on his energy. To admire him from a distance was the kindest thing I could have done for both our sakes. On this particular day, he was just a father enjoying some interesting art with his children in London. Being sensitive allowed me to pick up on his energy, combined with my intuition and discern the best action in the moment: to swoon from a distance and observe for a moment.
What does this mean for you?
You will probably see a more authentic and sensitive side of me from now on.
Know, deep down, I am doing the best that I can for you whilst also nourishing my own sensitive self. It’s a win win.
Over to you?
Can you relate to the trait of the sensitive person? If it’s not you, can you think of other people who may fall into this description? If so, then consider ways you can support yourself or those around you. We sensitives do extremely well if we know we are loved and accepted. I would love to know your thoughts.
If you liked this post, then do share with your favourite social media choice.
Onwards and upwards my friends!
Lovely blog Lisa,
Interesting, how many times do we (in society) say that someone it ‘too sensitive’? I’m sure I have in the past. So thank you for pointing out the beautiful qualities that more sensitive people have. I’m glad you’re sensitive because it enables you to notice more and to produce the beautiful artwork and illustrations that you do.
And buy the way I was tongue tied when I met Brene Brown too.
Lesley x
Lesley Pyne recently posted…How’s your gratitude muscle?
Thank you for seeing how sensitivity can influence my art in a positive way. I feel better that you were tongue-tied too as you looked cool as a cucumber in the queue 😉
I love this post – thank you for sharing. I can almost hear the whirring of your mind when you saw Mr Brosnan! I can relate to being sensitive and see it very much as a positive thing. It has made me able to empathise and support people in situations where words weren’t appropriate and it helps me negotiate life more smoothly. It does make being in over-stimulating environments a bit much though and I know for a fact I would’ve been going through very similar thoughts in the presence of either Brene Brown or Pierce Brosnan!
Helen Rebello recently posted…How to Tame the Stress Siren
Thank you Helen. It is great to know you and that we can relate as sensitives;) I have to say Pierce Brosnan looks great with very short grey hair and a bit beardy…
Oh yes! Me too. I have always seen it as a massive defect and fought against it, but Susannah’s course has made me with work and embrace that side of me.
I LOVE your image, it is beautiful!
Jen recently posted…Difficult choices
Hello there Jen,
Lovely to connect with you over here 😉
I know what you mean by the ‘defect’ thing. I was often viewed through a lens of being a bit odd and different. I turned against myself. I think that is how I got into personal development. I was always looking at a way to improve and could feel quite wretched about myself sometimes.
Thank you for your compliment xxxxxx
Thank you for this lovely article! I too am a sensitive soul – but only earlier this year came across the concept. I read Elaine Aron’s book and on every page was crying out, “yes that’s me!” Suddenly the whole of my life makes much more sense!
And now I know that I absolutely must prioritise quiet-time – time to meditate, time to sit and watch the clouds float across the sky, time to sit and think – to keep myself well.
I’m proud of and love my high sensitivity and my intuition and creativity and intense feelings.
And I recognize a fellow sensitive in your beautifully, intricately observed art.
Thank you for sharing xxx
Stella Tomlinson recently posted…Which stress type are you?
Stella, my heart warms as I read your words. It is such a wonderful feeling when you can view yourself through a normal trait lens rather than a ‘one size fits all’. I feel we are reaching a turning point and hopefully the general population will accept that we can be on a continuum of normal differences and that there is room for us all 😉
Thank you xx
Beautiful post, Lisa, thank you for sharing your journey so openly.
I know this planet can be a challenging place for Highly Sensitive People, particularly in our Western culture, and how crucial it is to feel loved and to feel safe. And what a wonderful notion, that we’re ‘on a continuum of normal differences and that there is room for us all’.
Linda Anderson recently posted…“There can be no despair …
thank you so much Linda ;)))) Yes I like the continuum. It feels more inclusive rather than the sensitives against the ‘others’ ;))
Absolutely! I complete relate to these traits of being a sensitive, Lisa. Although I never honed it down to examining my processing second by second like this. I’m overjoyed that you have discovered this trait in yourself and can now feel normal plus take the steps you need to take to care for yourself in your business. That’s such a huge part of our life. Thanks for the beauty you share with the world.
Sandra Pawula recently posted…What To Do When Someone Robs Your Joy and Deflates Your Energy
Yes the second-by-second experience was one of those ‘aha’ moments when the stuff I had been reading, noticing and viewing all fitted into place. It was an interesting and surreal moment that passed in slow motion 😉 So much of my time passes without paying attention, I was pleased to capture this one and I hope I capture more in the future as there is gold in these places.