This is an archived blog post from Green Alder Coaching
“Who do you think you are?
You are just not good enough…
Stupid girl!!”
Yadda-Yadda-Yadda…and so it goes on.
The incessant chatter of your Inner Critic voice: a white noise amongst the chaos of life.
It’s a sentinel (party pooper!) stationed to guard any challenge or dream that comes your way. It’s defined you already and influences what you need to do or NOT do before it’s even registered on your radar.
After all, what is it there for?
It’s simply there to protect you….to keep you safe. Well, in it’s opinion anyhow…;)
But, what if it frequently keeps you on the same old road and then one day you notice that the shine has rubbed off on your life?
Sound familiar? It’s incredibly common to be highjacked by your Inner Critic!
Well, perhaps you can learn to applaud that Inner Critic!
That’s what happened to (let’s call her) Danielle…
For ten years, she had drifted from one boring accountancy job to another and was trying to win the lottery one day.
During our coaching sessions, we revealed endless inner chatter about her self-worth.
So, I’d like to share with you a fun way we used, to tackle her inner critic(s).
Yes, there were 3!
The first one was very mean and would often label Danielle as ‘ too thick’, ‘not good enough’, and ‘useless’.
So, let’s call her Missy Mean!
The second was more like an over-protective parent, ‘Oh no… You better do a zillion skills courses before you are ready to change your job’.
Let’s call her Cotton-Wool Candy!
The third one was like a factual know-it-all, ‘Only 15% of entrepreneurs actually make it’…’ You only got £1000 savings so it’s not a good idea to leave that job’ and so on.
Let’s call her Logical Lolita!
During our work together, she enthusiastically created (with the help of a collage) a better future version—evoking her self-compassion— named Warrior Wendy!
Warrior Wendy would say things like ‘I know it’s difficult, but I believe in YOU; take small steps my friend, and get better through doing something you value…just like a musician will practice a new instrument.’
This exercise was such fun and Danielle was able to picture the 4 personas as actors on a stage. She had an image of what they looked like, their voices, their colours, and the things they would say…
So, when she caught one of the less helpful actors trying to influence her decision-making, she could politely name them (silently or out loud) and say, for example:
“Oy, Cotton-Wool Candy! I applaud you! I know you are trying to help me here, but I am okay. I am doing this action as it fits with my dreams to be an Upholsterer. Please leave the stage!
Warrior Wendy, please take centre stage as you are the best fit for me…So, what would you do?.”
This allowed Danielle to tap into a more helpful persona that could positively influence her decision-making and add a new dimension of fun and creativity into her life.
What now?
So, decide right now that you are going to become aware of your inner critic(s)…name them and create a compassionate version to replace them. And, have fun with it!
What Inner Critic personas can you relate to? I would love to hear the names of your actors…Comment below and let me know.
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