As the year moves into Winter, I can honestly say that 2014 has been the BEST year in my life ever!!!
I only discovered this fact recently…
On initial reflection, it has been an immense year of being new in business whilst also living a fairly frugal life. There have been ample struggles, fears of the unknown, essential learning, ever-evolving, growing, and some fun moments too.
But, it has definitely been my BEST year ever!
You may find solace in the story I am about to tell you and find some truths that resonate, so please do read on…
Let me explain:
“Are you doing your BEST?”
I have always dreaded the word ‘BEST’.
My childhood Nemesis …. the BEST version of me!!
A persona I have been actively running away from since I was a teenager.
You see when I was 18, I judged the BEST version of me as not quite good enough; so I ditched her in my 20’s and 30s for a less effortful ‘that’ll do’ version.
Throughout my childhood, I carefully heeded the advice of well-intentioned authority figures around me. They frequently suggested that I should always do my BEST…
“It doesn’t matter what the results will be, as long as you do your BEST,” echoed in my ears on a regular basis. Can you relate?
They were intended to be words of comfort and ease for a young Sensitive Soul. They were supposed to come from a place of love and experience.
As a studious ‘People Pleasing’ daughter, sister, pupil, and friend; I often pondered what BEST was supposed to look like, as if I did not appear to know.
I remember questioning myself “Well, have I done my best here?” and thinking things like, “Well, I guess, if I got up 2 hours earlier to revise for my exams, perhaps that was not my BEST, so I better get up 3 hours earlier tomorrow.”
This mentality went on until I was sometimes waking at 4.30 AM weeks before exams, in order to give of my BEST. I mistakingly thought there was always more I could do to prove I was doing my BEST….and so it went on…
I felt the essential and serious need to do my BEST in ALL that I did… It became my Mantra…
And then, by the age of 18, I remember becoming tired of being my BEST. It was as if the carrot dangling towards a positive future was turning into a stick and all I could see was further striving, striving, striving.…. Ugh!!
My BEST was neither good enough nor exhilarating…. “Do your BEST and be your BEST.” I heard it everywhere…woven throughout the fabric of my world..in the classroom, in the media, and between friends…. But, deep down, I was unnourished by the effort and expectations needed to be my BEST..
Then one day:
One day, I stopped giving my BEST and put up with ‘making do’ instead…being average…being a bit dim…being hidden. I thought that this was the only way to maintain any vitality and energy.
Many years passed, avoiding being my BEST…But, I was feeling a little empty inside….
So, to cut a very long story short;), I had disowned the BEST part of me. My natural child self was already the BEST version of me.. The ‘Wild thing’ who played in the mud, painted like a demon and daydreamed about her latest creations. My BEST was buried deep inside the core of my belief system, where it occasionally rippled to the surface in various shadow guises.
Today, things are different:
During the later parts of 2014, something changed within me. After contemplating what doing my BEST really means, I pondered how I could re-frame it in a healthy way. I now appreciate and love being my BEST and see how it has taught me a valuable lesson in how to be in my life and business. I hope it will help you too.
I want the word to feel uplifting for me and for YOU: to feel nourishing for body and soul.
What did I do?
BEST is now an acronym for:
I like to utilise the question, “Am I doing my BEST here?” against the day-to-day activities I take part in.
Is the activity mindful of clear and kind boundaries which are safe and respectful?
Does it give me the feeling of lightness and expansiveness in my body, rather than the feeling of crushing and smallness?
Does it feel mutually supportive in some delicious way?
Is it aligned with my inner truth, my heart and wisdom?
This simple shift in focus has had a huge impact on my belief system and has contributed to my BEST year ever!
I hope you found some resonance in this blog post and I wish you all a Merry Christmas and an even Better New Year!!!