‘You will never set the world on fire girl! Look at you hiding in the shadows!’ (comment when I was 8 or 9 years old).
It’s funny how paying attention on purpose can reveal useful lessons in life. It’s funny how old memories can stick around in your mind.
Let me explain…
Archytypes to ponder
I have a monthly check-in with the supportive Amy Palko. She is one of my absolute ‘go-to’ people for wisdom and guidance in my personal and business life: through the eyes of the Goddess Archetypes. Actively choosing to reflect through monthly archetypes can provide so much nourishment and reconciliation with aspects of self; overlapping with the benefit of using oracle cards. This month was no exception.
My archetype for the month is Amaterasu. She steps forward for women when it is their time to shine, and when they need to begin a process of reclaiming their light. I can particularly resonate with this as I am a regular hermit who will hide from any attention whether it is positive or negative. I can relate to the feeling of hiding in a cave. I have launched three card decks and made beautiful pouches and wraps. I have the most amazing community of people who support me. There are live video recordings of experiences working with my cards and products. And yet, I cannot watch them (when they are related to my craft). I dare not to look; I hide away. I acknowledge and then disappear into my creative cave. It’s an unhelpful pattern, but I still really appreciate and value my community and their feedback. I drink in kindness and goodwill. Something around the subject of confidence in my past history and my passion for what I do inhibits me from looking too closely. This month I noticed I am particularly hiding away.
So what lesson has Amaterasu got to show me this month?
I wasn’t sure anything would manifest, other than a stark awareness of my behavioral patterns around being in the spotlight. Yet, I made an astonishing discovery that floored me a little (in a good way).
I have been interviewed this month by a Book Detective Leda Sammarco. She has a healthy appetite for books and also the story behind creating them. After connecting with my Tree Wisdom cards in a face-to-face networking meeting, she purchased a deck. She could see correlations between the journey to being an author of a book and to the creation of a deck of cards. This overlap fascinated her, so she asked if I would entertain being interviewed for her Podcast. After a few personally awkward video interviews, I was a little apprehensive at first.
And yet I had nothing to fear, she was the most wonderfully relaxed interviewer and I could feel her genuine interest and curiosity about my journey. She teased out many truths that were also revelationary to me. You see, I may not have listened to the recording, but the process of being interviewed was a joy. I read her emails and her blog post about my work etc. I thought ‘Wow, what a way with words she has. She really makes me sound just like the person I want to be and feel in my business. Her response was that she was simply writing my words. That's when I realised. I reflected on my answers to her questions, re-read my website, looked at the descriptions for my oracle cards, and witnessed the truth of my work reflect back to me. Leda had been a very powerful mirror reflecting back those parts of me I am not claiming as my own.
I understand this happens a lot when we dig a little deeper into why we admire certain people more than others. But, this was a slightly different experience, as I saw my sparkling reflection through the interview with Leda. She provided the ingredients with the perfect divine timing, a comfortable space to actively listen to my answers, an interview without video, and her passion for my cards.
If you would like to listen to the interview, then it is available through the link here. There may be things that I say that resonate with you too. I also highly recommend that you spend time listening to Leda’s inspiring Podcasts.
So what now?
I will most likely still feel awkward about watching video recordings in which I feature or listening to my own voice, but I do know and feel one truth. I am living my life exactly the way I was meant to. I am living and evolving into an expression of my authentic self no matter how small a spark, or large a roaring flame that I may be at any given time in this world. I can shine. We can all shine!