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Ballet shoes off: I am not okay …

It happened to me this week: the moment I learned to allow myself to  ‘not be okay‘. It has taken a momentous amount of courage, against resistance, these past few months (perhaps all my life) to get to this place.

You see, I am a fixer of problems of the heart and soul. I know how to allow myself to feel emotional pain (because it blinking hurts!); but, like most of us, I try to fix my circumstances so that I may feel less pain.

This time, I am allowing myself to ‘not be okay‘ whilst allowing myself to ‘not try to fix it‘: to just be with it; the truth of it; to really live in this body, in all its ugliness; to allow emotions to move through me and be rinsed and renewed.

The uncomfortable truth of ‘not being okay‘ has an odd way of setting me free: a hopeful light at the end of the tunnel. So, I give myself permission to break; and from this broken place, I move in the direction of healing.

Only by honouring the truth of our emotions, in the moment, are we able to let them go…

And that’s okay!

Can you relate?


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